living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
