just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
