I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
