Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
