If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
