He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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