well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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