She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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