I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
