Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Randomize
