White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
