If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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