he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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