oh god the rape fog is back!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
