woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
