i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize