I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This baby is an asshole
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
