batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
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