Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
