was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I FOUND THE LEGS
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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