If i come over, it means nothing
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
