you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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