we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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