my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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