you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
