I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
