2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
