I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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