I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
