Your tits are I can't wait for
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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