I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
