either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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