Dual....:-)
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
