So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
