the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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