I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize