My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
