Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
