we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
