I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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