walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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