just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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