Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just want nice things and good sex
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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