Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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