Christians are straight up FREAKS
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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