The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
