my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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