I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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