She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
