windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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