His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Randomize
