I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
