my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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