Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
