He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
