Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
