no. you can't hotbox the world.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
