omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
