Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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