In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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