Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
40s are totally the cure
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
