that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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