Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
