I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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