shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
