I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
